What Makes Them Really Tick Series- The 10 Emotional Resonance Frequencies Part 1
Hello everyone, this week we are going to start covering the emotional resonance and in part one we will cover the first 5 resonance frequencies. The exact order and level of importance of these frequencies is individual to each person and will be shown how to identify which one is important after they are explained. There are other needs some people may have, but what will be explained will cover about 95% of what fulfills most people’s emotional resonance frequencies. These needs are in no order, everyone has their own individual emotional resonance frequencies that rank in level of importance. Everyone’s top 3 might be different and it’s important to understand them all and identify which apply to your partner.
Emotional Resonance Frequency #1: Affection
Most healthy people have this emotional resonance frequency, for some it ranks way at the top of the list. These folks want to have that close connection with someone, and physical affection is their way of fulfilling the urge to connect at a deep, emotional level. For example, your partner might like cuddling. Every time you participate in cuddling with them you are tuned in with their emotional resonance frequency, fulfilling it and bringing them satisfaction. If you refuse to cuddle with your partner, they will feel rejected, and their behavior will probably reflect this. They could either try to pull closer which can come off as needy or clingy or they’ll grow distant because they are unable to get in tune with you on this frequency. They can’t get satisfaction for what they crave, and they won’t thrive in the relationship without it.
Keep in mind affection is different from sex. Affection is being gloving toward your partner in a psychical way that may include but does not necessarily have to include sex. Right now, it’s talking about hugging, cuddling, kissing, holding hands and other physical displays that indicate your connected.
Emotional Resonance Frequency #2: Companionship
Companionship is another frequency that is typically high ranked for people. Your partner might really need you to be available to do activities with them, whether it’s sitting and watching a movie together or going to a star-gazing event. If your partner has a strong compulsion for companionship, it is important that you do activities with them because it fulfills that deep driver and brings them inner satisfaction. This is different from sex and affection because it’s more about time spent together outside of the bedroom, bonding over a variety of experiences that can be physical, intellectual or some combination. If the person who is strongly driven toward having a great deal of companionship with their partner is coupled with someone who doesn’t have the same drive, friction can result if both partners aren’t aware of its level importance. What may happen is the partner who desires more companionship may seem to always be pulling the other to go do something them. To a partner who doesn’t understand this driver, they may feel nagged.
The way to know if you’re in tune with this emotional resonance frequency is to ask yourself if you notice you or your partner asking for more time together. If you are, it’s a sure sign one of you values this emotional resonance frequency highly. Keep in mind that these frequencies are very personal to everyone, so you may not get it at first, but just go along with it and see the response you get.
Emotional Resonance Frequency #3: Encouragement
Encouragement is another frequency to look at. Think of encouragement as having someone act as a personal cheerleader. If this is your frequency you may want your partner to support, you or give you that little push to do things. This give you a positive glow on the inside because you feel your partner is your champion and always has your back.
One example of this was a couple where the wife needed her husband’s encouragement, but his response to her was always, “You don’t need my approval.” It wasn’t so much that she needed his approval as it was a deep desire to hear him say, “Go get ‘em!” and “You would be great at that!” She needed his verbal affirmation, support, and encouragement. Those are small things he could have done to contribute to her happiness and satisfaction in the relationship, but he was completely missing the boat. It was because encouragement wasn’t one of his top frequencies so he couldn’t relate to it until it was spelled out for him.
Emotional Resonance Frequency #4: Validation
Validation is another deep need people have. When someone doesn’t feel validated, they can feel taken for granted, unimportant, or that their partner doesn’t appreciate their worth. There are millions of ways you might validate your spouse and the specific ways you choose will need to relate to events or aspects of your relationship. When we validate someone, we’re confirming their thoughts and feelings about themselves. They may know they are smart and good looking, or working hard enough to earn a promotion, but to have you come along and confirm what they’re feeling deeply resonates with them.
Emotional Resonance Frequency #5: Admiration
Admiration is another frequency that many people rank high. Showing admiration means complimenting your partner. A classic example would be a woman who takes care of the home and raises the kids. Yes, she does it out of love and the joy of doing it, but it may be important for her to hear words of admiration for this contribution, compliments on how well she balances everything that needs to be done in the home.
A compliment can go a long way for anyone, but some will feel very in tune with their partner when this emotional resonance frequency is given attention. When someone is driven by a need to hear words of admiration doesn’t hear them, they can feel undervalued. A few words of appreciation, such as “You do an amazing job with the house and kids, I don’t know how you do it!” can go a long way. Imagine how this will resonate with the recipient of these words, especially if they thrive on admiration.
Next week we will cover the next 5 emotional resonance frequencies people have. Stay up to date and see you next week!